Last week, I was on vacation—a lovely blend of work, relaxation, and family time in Montana. There’s something so comforting about visiting family, especially the kind you can just talk to about anything, even if it’s been nearly a year since you’ve seen each other.

One night, as a lightning storm rolled in (the perfect dramatic backdrop), I sat on my cousin’s back deck, chatting under the wide Montana sky. We covered just about every topic you could imagine—parenting, careers, life, love, probably even snacks. We’re close in age, and at one point she said, “You know, it’s hard to make friends these days.”

And she’s right. It is…

💫 Friendship Was So Easy… Then

When you’re a kid, friendship is simple.
You’re in the same place, doing the same thing, and—boom—you’re friends. Whether it’s school, summer camp, a sandbox, or just a shared love of horses or Hot Wheels, friendship blooms fast and without pretense.

My youngest son is like that. Honestly, the kid could make friends with a fish.
Recently, he went to a remote campground in the middle of nowhere Alaska with my parents and made a buddy in the lobby of a tiny hotel. They played together all night, went fishing in the morning, and then said goodbye like it was no big deal. Will he ever see that friend again? Probably not. But that’s the magic of childhood—connection without complication.

😬 But Then We Grow Up…

As adults, it’s different.

Now making a friend feels… weirdly like dating.
You meet someone and start mentally running through the checklist:

Do I like them?

Do they like me?

Do we have the same values?

Do they seem like someone I could cry-laugh with over coffee at 9 a.m. and wine at 9 p.m.?

And then comes the hard part: figuring out if they want to be in your life, too.

People don’t always say how they feel. We overthink it. We second-guess ourselves. Kids don’t do that. They’re honest—even if it’s blunt. “I don’t like you.” And while we tell them not to be rude, maybe there’s something refreshing about their directness. It would save us all a lot of time.

👭 Work Friends, Real Friends, and Lessons in Between

I used to think I had a lot of friends from work (I know, I know—“Don’t make friends at work!” But come on. Most of us spend a third of our lives with these people—it’s bound to happen.)

But it turned out some of those friendships weren’t what I thought they were. And that hurt a little. Okay, maybe more than a little. But it also gave me clarity.

Because now I see clearly the real friends in my life.
The ones who cheer me on without condition.
Who don’t always agree with me but still root for me.
The ones who might not pick up the phone at 3 a.m., but they’ll call back the second they see the missed call.
The ones who’ve stayed.

And that small, precious group? They’re everything.

🌻 Here’s to the Real Ones💛

Making friends as an adult might be harder, messier, and more vulnerable—but when you do find those people who really get you, it’s worth every awkward coffee date and every moment of doubt.

So, if you’re in your 30s, 40s, or beyond and feeling like meaningful friendship is a unicorn… hang in there.
It’s not impossible. It just takes a little more patience—and maybe a lightning storm or two.

To the people in my life who show up, listen, laugh, call back, and love me even when I’m a bit of a mess:
Thank you. I’m so grateful for you.