When I first sat down to research ideas for writing a blog in midlife, nearly every result screamed:
“How to Be Fashionable in Your 40s!”
“How to Look Your Best at 40!”

Well… let me just stop you right there. That’s not advice anyone would ever come to me for.

Don’t get me wrong—I don’t dress like a total slob. But I’ve never exactly been a trendsetter either. Anytime I get a compliment on my outfit, there’s a 98% chance my mom picked it out. If I chose it? Crickets. Honestly, it’s a running joke at this point (yes, even in my 40s).

Even back in my 20s—when everyone’s supposedly in their “prime”—I never really dressed to impress. Comfort has always ruled. If something pinched, squeezed, or required shapewear that made me feel like a sausage in casing, it went right back on the rack. And that’s still true today.

Just the other day, I told my husband while trying to shed a few pounds:
“I don’t know why I even bother. I’ll just end up wearing the same clothes anyway—only now they’ll look extra baggy.”
Ah, the joys of midlife 🙄.

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The Dressing Room Dread

Let’s talk about shopping—aka my personal nightmare. First of all, who designed the lighting in dressing rooms? A villain, clearly. And those mirrors? Not one has ever done me a single favor.

And as I’ve gotten older, that experience hasn’t exactly improved. I’d rather buy a new mop than a pair of jeans. (Fun fact: I don’t wear jeans anymore. I found something better that’s not leggings—link coming soon!)

How are we supposed to love our bodies when the very place we try clothes on seems designed to make us question every angle? Which brings me to my next point…

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A Quick Stroll Down Questionable Fashion Memory Lane

Let’s time-travel to the 80s and 90s. Honestly, I wish I’d been a little older during the 80s—I would’ve thrived in all that neon and hairspray. Fashion back then was fun, over-the-top, and delightfully tacky.

And then came the 90s. Oh boy. An era of questionable choices, both in life and in wardrobe. Remember when the “heroin chic” look was in? The goal was to show off as many bones as possible—collarbones, hip bones, whatever you could make protrude. Everything was skin-tight and fabric seemed optional.

Did I have the kind of body made for 90s fashion? Absolutely not. Did that stop me from wearing slip dresses and belly-hugging tops? Also no. I even owned a Juicy velour tracksuit, which I now remember with equal parts horror and nostalgia. (Strangely enough, I have a friend in her 30s who’s hunting for one now—fashion really does come full circle.)

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Heels, Husbands & Hindsight

There was a brief moment in my mid-20s when I really tried. Six-inch heels, carefully planned outfits, and a job that didn’t require much walking.

It was during that short-lived “cute phase” that I met my husband. We’ve now been together for almost 15 years—proof that love sometimes strikes when you’re teetering in painful shoes.

Before him? Let’s just say my dating history was… colorful. If you want the unfiltered version, just ask my dad. He has stories—and strong opinions.

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Fashion Now: Stretchy Waistbands & Self-Acceptance

These days, fashion means pants that don’t strangle me, tops that actually reach my waistband, and anything that doesn’t make me want to change the second I get home.

I truly admire people who dress well—and yes, I sometimes envy the effortlessly stylish—but for me, comfort is king.

More importantly, I’ve realized how much time I wasted not appreciating my body. Always wishing it was thinner, smoother, taller… something-er. And honestly? I blame the fashion and wellness industries for a lot of that.

For decades, we were sold the lie that our worth is tied to our size. Here’s a news flash: people are not meant to be perfect. We are gloriously, wonderfully imperfect—and that’s the whole point.

Sure, there are some influencers out there really working to promote self-love and body acceptance (thank goodness for them). But most of what we see is still about changing ourselves. Losing weight to fit into… what, exactly? A trend? A standard that changes every year?

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Midlife Feels

Midlife is weird. In so many ways, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my skin—and yet, I still feel self-conscious. It’s a paradox, and I know I’m not alone in feeling it. We just don’t always say it out loud.

That’s why I appreciate the voices that do. A couple of Instagram accounts I love show real life—messy, beautiful, bloated real life. And if you want a little soul food for your ears, check out The Feel Good Nakd Podcast by Chardét Ryel. She’s honest, insightful, and always leaves me feeling a little more seen.

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Choose Positivity, Always

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the past few years? Surround yourself with people who want to see you thrive. Online, in real life—everywhere.

There’s so much noise telling us we’re doing it wrong. Find the voices that say, “You’ve got this,” not the ones that scold, “Don’t do that.”

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Final Thoughts

Fashion in your 40s doesn’t have to mean runway looks or skinny jeans that cut off circulation. It can mean knowing what you like, what feels good, and appreciating the body you’ve been living in for decades. Because this body? It’s gotten you through a lot.

So whether you’re in sweatpants, a flowy dress, or a velvet Juicy tracksuit (no judgment!), wear it with confidence. That’s the best accessory at any age.

😘